we're chasing vodka with high fives
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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