Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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