I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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