she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
