Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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