My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
