Fuck appropriateness.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
