I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
