So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
