You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
no, he came in my armpit
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
