I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he puts the penis in happiness.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
