I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
