Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
