I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
