I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
