I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
