But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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