I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
