You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize