And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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