are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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