im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
