Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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