I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
