sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
