I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
