Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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