I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
