dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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