You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
