bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
