Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
