She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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