Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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