we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
