Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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