We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
