It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize