dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
