meet me or not, i'm out of control
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
