we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
