have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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