is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
They have beer where we have blood.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
