Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
