Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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