I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
