its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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