In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize