And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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