my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
love makes seman taste better
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
