Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
