we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I want to be your penis for a week.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
