My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
