I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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