In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
