I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
