cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
