no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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